Thinking About Divorce? Here is one option - Don't Do It
It might sound strange coming from a family law attorney, but one option people should consider when they are contemplating divorce is whether divorce is right for them in the first place. If there are children involved (of any age) it is even more important that people consider all aspects (and costs) of divorce.
1. Divorce is expensive. It is not only expensive to get divorced - court fees, attorney fees, QDRO - but expensive once you are divorced. You have additional expenses since you and your spouse will have separate homes. You need additional furniture and other household goods. You might have child-care expenses you didn't have before. You have no one to change the oil in the car, mow the lawn, or shop for you, or clean and cook dinner for you. You may have to sell the family house, costing you equity in your home. You will lose half of your retirement.
2. Divorce is hard on kids. you can read studies that kids bounce back from divorce and the reality is they will most likely adjust. But studies do not take into account the small affects that divorce can have on kids. Their grades tend to go down. They get in more trouble at school. This will not necessarily have catastrophic consequences in their life, but it will affect college admissions. They could also have relationship issues themselves when they get older.
3. People going through divorce suffer more depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. It is hard emotionally to go through a divorce, even when you do not get along with your spouse. It causes a radical change in your life and life-style that takes a while to get used to. It is not a fun part of your life. Studies show that even though women are more likely to initiate a divorce, they suffer more economically.
4. In the end, you may not be better off. I have seen many people get divorced, only to wind up marrying someone similar to their first spouse. Second marriages end up in divorce more than 60% of the time. This is not a shock.
Of course, you may have no choice in the matter - if your spouse divorces you. Or you may have made up your mind. I will not try to talk anyone out of divorce, but I can say in all sincerity that it not a decision you should take lightly. There are few easy divorces. This is why so many divorce lawyers are rich.